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Jill Rowe: a journey through the Wings facilitation program

Jill Rowe

Jill Rowe

Editor’s note: Jill Rowe is a former Wings intern and current participant in the Facilitator-in-Training (FIT) program  that can lead to facilitating Wings seminars. We asked her to answer a few questions about FIT and The Structure of Presence Facilitator Training Seminar, which is a prerequisite to applying for the FIT program.

What did you most enjoy about The Structure of Presence? What did you learn or experience that was new? There were so many great nuggets of information that it is really hard to choose just one.  What keeps coming up for me is that structure determines behavior. This played out in the seminar room and with just a few shifts in the seminar structure we created a more collaborative environment. The new learning for me was getting to practice scenarios that had come from past events in the seminar room. My pattern under stress is to worry about “right” and “wrong.”  I experienced a feeling of freedom to see that there can be different paths resulting in positive outcomes.

How did The Structure of Presence prepare you to enter the Facilitator-in-Training (FIT) program with Wings? During The Structure of Presence I was surprised to learn that I was extremely uncomfortable in front of the room. I actually thought I would love it, so it was a shocking moment to have an awareness that I would have some work to do in this area. I also learned what it felt like to get “hooked” in someone’s story. I got to experience what that felt like in my body. That awareness got my attention. I looked at my toolbox and asked myself what was missing or what I needed more of. Moving forward into the FIT program with this mindset has kept me from getting defensive when I think things are not going well or if I am not performing to my expectations. I like thinking that I just have yet to access the right tool for the moment I am in. My goal is to build an expansive range of behavioral flexibility and use my skills to be in service to others.

What have you experienced in the FIT program that has been most supportive of your personal and professional goals? Behavior-specific feedback has been the game changer. The quality of the behavior-specific feedback from the facilitators, other FITS, and backup team members has been a priceless gift. I think I am supported and I feel loved. I like knowing the impact my behavior is having and whether or not I am creating the results I am intending. The skills I struggle with in the FIT program most always mirror what is going on for me both professionally and personally. When I grow and improve in the seminar room, I see the growth and improvement in my workplace and my relationships.

Did the Women with Wings seminar add to your experiences in Structure of Presence or in the FIT program and, if so, how? Women with Wings Leadership Seminar was a very powerful and motivating seminar for me. I came away with a new personal mantra, “There is a new sheriff in town! Soft on people; hard on issues.”  When I am not paying attention I can end up treating people as if they are their behavior. Exploring how to apply the skill of differentiation to this scenario has given me the confidence to tackle tough issues and know that I am going to also take care of the person in front of me.

Is there anything else you would like to share about your experiences with these seminars? I found that the thing I do not want to tackle or think about is where my learning is. When I catch myself “not wanting to go there” that is my cue to address it, and when I do that, it crushes my self-doubt!

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